Feel like crap. Feel like one big fat spoiled brat.

But it still feels like crap.

Tainted

By some stroke of luck, I found links to porn sites in the 'History' folder of his computer. That said too much. A slap of betrayal, that's what it was.

Now there's no way I can allow him to touch me without feeling dirty, used and cheapened.

I reasoned with myself, that to comply with his every need from now on means that I am doing so because I don't want him to resort to porn. And only because. What does that say about my insecurity then? Alot. And I'm sure I don't want to stoop this low to get his attention and affection.

If he can't do marriage the pure and exclusive way, then let's not do it at all.